Oakland woman dedicates 545-mile AIDS/LifeCycle ride to HIV-positive daughter
It’ is within the winks and the friendly touches that an outsider can see the love Oakland resident Shannon Wentworth has for her 16-year-old adopted daughter, Lexi Gibson.
Two years ago, Lexi never knew such love. She was born HIV-positive and grew up in an abusive home. She was teased, tormented and assaulted by schoolmates. When she was 14, her father dumped her at Child Protective Services and drove off. She bounced from foster homes to friend’s homes. She lived with uninvolved extended family and on the streets.
The worst part was she wasn’t taking the medication doctors prescribed to help her fight the disease. She was getting sick and frail. Her attitude was fatalistic. She made no plans for her future because she figured she didn’t have one. She was going to die young from AIDS-related illnesses, or at least that’s what everyone she knew told her.
Today, Lexi is making plans to become a veterinarian. She wants to save frail, abused and neglected animals. She also wants to be a motivational speaker, a health educator and an inspiration to others living with HIV. She has been a featured speaker at several high schools, and hopes to do more.
Wentworth, Lexi says, makes these dreams possible.
“Without my mom, I wouldn’t be where I am today and who I am today. I love her,” Lexi says as the family of two sit barefoot on the living room couch and sip from glasses of ice water.
Wentworth is celebrating their relationship and raising money for HIV/AIDS research by participating in the weeklong, 545-mile AIDS/LifeCycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles beginning Sunday. She already has raised $7,500 from friends and family for the ride, money that goes directly to AIDS and HIV research groups. More than 3,000 riders are expected to participate in the event this year and raise more than $11 million for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center.
The 35-year-old has ridden in the event for several years but this year “it’s never been so personal for me,” she says. She envisions a cure for HIV and AIDS within Lexi’s lifetime.
For now, Lexi’s HIV viral load is so low that it is undetectable, a reason to celebrate. Stil, she’ll talk frankly about the ways HIV is transmitted through sexual contact and has written a straightforward, three-minute spoken word piece about her life.
“I always had this feeling my purpose in life is to educate people,” she says, adding that it was her mother who helped her with the spoken word piece, a writing inspired by the movie “Freedom Writers.”
Wentworth, founder and CEO of a new lesbian adventure and “voluntourism” travel company, Sweet, met Lexi a few years ago through one of Lexi’s extended family members, a half-sister. Lexi liked Wentworth and would come to her home and help her with projects and the like.
When Lexi’s half-sister became too ill to care for her, Wentworth stepped in to adopt her.
“I didn’t see another option,” Wentworth says. “Here was this kid and she was really, really sick and she didn’t have anyone else. I didn’t see how she was going to take her pills and get healthier. She was only going to get sicker.”
Wentworth had a lot of work to do when Lexi came to live with her. Lexi had emotional problems and Reactive Attachment Disorder, a condition that strains all types of relationships and requires counseling.
“I was a pretty jacked-up kid,” she says.
Lexi refused to take anti-viral medication — even the thought of doing so made her feel ill.
She would throw away her pills instead of taking them. She says she felt better without the medication, mainly because of its debilitating side effects.
Wentworth got busy. She and Lexi attended counseling sessions together. She made a list of goals for them. She helped Lexi get used to the idea of taking her medication through candy treats, poems, notes and reminders. She spent awhile just rubbing Lexi’s feet and giving her loving attention.
“I see my job is helping her want to live and giving her hope and a vision for what her future will be,” Wentworth says.
Slowly, the fragile, pimple-ridden, junk-food junkie Lexi started taking her pills and eating better. Her T-cell count is significantly higher than it was when she started living with Wentworth. She now prefers water to soda and brags about her beautifully clear skin.
While Wentworth, a former Times employee, builds her lesbian travel business, Lexi holds two part-time jobs, is making up high school credits at Millennium High School in Piedmont and is getting close to going to college.
Her friends know about her disease and accept her. Most importantly, she says, she feels loved.
“(Wentworth) is the best thing that has happened to me in my whole life,” she says. “She helped me find me. I am Lexi.”
By Laura Casey
Laura Casey at 925-952-2697 or lcasey@bayareanewsgroup.com.
