He is far, far too quick
Q: Doc, I am a guy with a problem and the problem is that I discharge far, far too soon.
This has always been so. I first went with a woman when I was 16. She was an older lady, and it was all over within 30 seconds. She laughed at me and told me I was no good. I felt so badly about this that I did not try again for another two years.
The next time I had sex was when I was 18. It was with a girl my own age. I thought it would be OK this time, doc, but it wasn’t. Unfortunately, I discharged before I could even enter her.
This happened again and again, doc. So eventually she left me for another guy. That was pretty tough.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get any better, doc. In fact, as the years went by, the problem got more severe. There have been times when I actually discharged in my pants just from kissing a girl.
I tried the ‘Chiney brush’ and it helped me just a little bit. What I do now is to use it just before I go out on a date. With its help, I can now hug and kiss a young lady without discharging. Or at least, most of the time.
But, at the moment, I have no hope of having sexual intercourse with a woman. You see, I know that if I get into bed with a girl, I will discharge immediately, and that would be the end of the evening!
Please help me. I am now 27 and I would really like to find a lovely young woman, settle down with her and maybe have some children. But at the moment, doc, there is no chance.
A: Do not give up hope. You can be helped. The problem you are suffering from is called premature ejaculation - or PE. It is quite common. Experts say that around 10 per cent of the male population has it.
But most of these guys have it more mildly than you. They can manage to have intercourse, and they can last for maybe a minute or so - before they have to discharge.
In contrast, it is clear that you have the condition really badly - because you are so ‘hair-triggered’ that you cannot even manage to get inside a woman. This is sad.
Why does this disorder happen? Doctors do not really know. Some folks think that it is because of a kind of conditioning in the early teenage years. The idea is that if a guy has some kind of furtive or secret sex, he may feel that he has to discharge fast - in case he is discovered! Then he can’t get out of the habit of discharging very quickly.
However, that is not the case with some of the patients I have seen. They were not ‘conditioned’ by hasty sexual experiences. They just seem to have a natural tendency to discharge really quickly. That may well be the case with you.
Now, what can be done to help you? Well, the good news is that premature ejaculation can often be cured. Years ago, American experts worked out a way of treating it. They found that if the woman applies a special grip to the guy’s penis whenever he feels he is about to discharge, then this ’squeeze’ takes away the desire to climax.
The Americans treated many couples over a period of months, and 98 per cent of the guys got completely better. From then on, they were able to ‘last’ for anything up to half an hour.
I must stress that the ’squeeze-me’ grip is not an instant cure. The idea is that the woman uses it to re-train the guy to last longer, over many weeks. In fact, I have never known of anyone cured in less than eight weeks.
Undoubtedly you are saying: “That is all very well, but I don’t have a woman to re-train me.” However, it is possible to re-train yourself by applying that special grip during masturbation - again, over a period of at least a couple of months.
But what is the special grip? It is too complicated to explain here. However, a doctor or psychologist who is knowledgeable about sex therapy can show it to you. And I understand that you do have access to the Internet - where you can easily find pictures of precisely how to do it. (Just put the words ‘premature’ and ‘ejaculation’ into your search).
There is now another possible treatment for ‘PE.’ Some docs are willing to prescribe an anti-depressant drug which you take a few hours before you intend to have sex. It slows you down. But like all medications, it has side-effects - mainly, a dry feeling in the mouth.
Finally, there is a new drug called Dapoxetine which is being marketed as specially for premature ejaculation. It helps — but the results achieved with it are not really as good as those of the ’squeeze-me’ technique.
I assure you that with the help of one of these treatments you can beat this problem and have a happy sex life. Good luck.
Q: Doctor, the man I love is in Florida and something terrible happened to him the other night. It appears that a gang of young men mugged him and cut his face - and he says that they then raped him.
I do not understand what this means. And it is making me wonder if they were attracted to him because he is really some kind of secret homosexual.
A: No, this is not a sign that your man is secretly gay. What has happened to him is male rape and it is a terrible experience for a guy.
Unfortunately, it happens a lot in certain areas of the United States. Criminals mug somebody and then decide that they will humiliate him/her totally by gang-raping the person.
I am sure that you will understand that this is enormously painful. It usually causes severe bleeding and bruising. And the mental effect on a young man can be bad.
What your boyfriend needs now is your support and love. Also, I believe that in Miami there are counselling services for male rape victims - he should go to one.
Very importantly, he may have caught a sex infection from these bullies so he must visit a sexually-transmitted disease clinic and have tests for venereal disease.
Do not have sex with him until he has been told that he is free of infection.
Q:Doc, what is a ‘hypochondriac?’ I am female, age 25, and I work in an office near Half-Way Tree. I thought things were going well for me but now the other girls are saying that I am a hypochondriac. I would like to know the meaning of that.
A: A hypochondriac is a person who worries far too much about health. So my guess is that you have been talking a great deal about your own health problems and that your co-workers are getting a little bored with that. So try and take a good look at what you say in the office. You would probably be more popular if you stopped talking about any kind of sickness.
Q: I have just learned that I am pregnant. How can I tell when the baby will be due, doc?
A: Well, your midwife or doctor will inform you. But a simple way of working it out is to take the first day of your last menses. Then add nine months and one week to that.
Q: This week I was diagnosed as having cystitis. Does this mean I must give up sex, doc?
A: Cystitis is inflammation of the bladder. Many women get it. When you have an attack of cystitis, it is best to avoid sex for about a week. After that, it should be OK to resume - but gently.
Q:Doc, I am a guy of 17. Whenever time I pass urine, it goes downwards, instead of straight out in front of me. Also, a girl who looked at my organ told me where ‘the hole was in the wrong place’. What is wrong with me?
A:Sounds like you have a condition called ‘hypospadias’. This means that the urinary opening is underneath the penis - when it should be at the end. Get yourself checked out by a doc. You could be cured by taking an operation. I wish you well.
